Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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