all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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