On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
