whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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