I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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