but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize