your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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