question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
