My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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