Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Two words: nipple clamps
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