I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
