im so drunk with asians
where?
always
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He? As in you personified your dick?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize