where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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