She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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