we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i love accidental penises.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
