so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize