I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
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