Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize