i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
