Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You took a bar mat shot.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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