One girl and one boy is just not enough.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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