I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
