awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
