I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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