The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
