I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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