You just made me feel so damn special
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
