Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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