Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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