I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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