Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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