i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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