One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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