They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
