Your face is a jimmy john
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
