i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
