The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Where is the hickey?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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