Buhtt sex?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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