Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize