so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
