She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
