I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
