he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize