I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
