I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he shaved USA in his pubs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
