Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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