Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
