I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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