your parents love me but you hate me
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
