I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
