it was like eating out sand paper
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
