Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
