But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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