The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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