I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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