We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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