jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize