Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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