Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
