I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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