just tell him i said nine months
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
